first post about poetry from 'allhuesofblue'

Well, this is a poem I wrote was for an assignment in my British and Caribbean poetry class during my undergrad, so I guess that's kind of cheating.  either way, i thought it good enough to post.  Plus, if anyone knows me and the immense amount of time it takes me to compose a few lines, let alone a piece of work, they will ll be shocked to know this took me two hours.  I was under a deadline, which i'm sure helped to speed up the process.  Now, there is background information as to why I chose to write about the topic that I did.  We were asked to choose a poem from the Medieval/Renaissance period to emulate, and I chose Andrew Marvell's 1650/51 work, "To His Coy Mistress," because it deals with the concept of two people consummating their love before time runs out, and well, that's what I'm all about.  I didn't emulate the entire poem.  Just the first 20 lines.  I tried to model each of my lines after his, so when he speaks of the Indian Ganges', he's referring to a holy river in India.  My line mentioned The Nile/denial; I had to use a play on words because that's just what I do y'all.  The Humber is a river of lesser proportions in Marvell's home town.  Lake Travis is a small lake here in Austin, so that's where I took Travesty from.  

To His Coy Mistress

Had we but world enough, and time,

This coyness, Lady, were no crime

We would sit down and think which way

To walk and pass our long love's day.

Thou by the Indian Ganges' side

Shouldst rubies find: I by the tide

Of Humber would complain. I would

Love you ten years before the Flood,

And you should, if you please, refuse

Till the conversion of the Jews.

My vegetable love should grow

Vaster than empires, and more slow;

An hundred years should go to praise

Thine eyes and on thy forehead gaze;

Two hundred to adore each breast,

But thirty thousand to the rest;

An age at least to every part,

And the last age should show your heart.

For, Lady, you deserve this state,

Nor would I love at lower rate. 

A Forced Farewell 

Godspeed, indeed for time is cruel

Closed mouths will never feed the fool

We lay out rules, we dream them through

Let’s hope by noon they’ll all come true

To live, to love.  Have doth denial?

I’ll be here till we reconcile

Travesty if I were to faint

No levee can stop marching saints

I ask you, answer if you will

Before Night Falls, we’ll have a deal

My grass will grow and twice as green

No rain in Texas past the spring

And I remain all day and eve

You’re worth the wait, I do believe

Infinite wisdom shall restore

Light years of what I’ve waited for

Decades, dimensions, future tense

Long Live Love, come forth or hence

Beauty, gracious, earthly being

The time is now, no in between.

there are three verses i need to tighten up, but regardless, i'm pleased.